Sunday 6 September, at 5.00 pm we will host Gheula Canarutto Nemni, author of the novel published by Mondadori : (Not) you can have it all.

I was immediately intrigued by the parenthesis that encloses the denial in the title.
Page after page I think I understand why.

Deb, the protagonist is 18 years old, she is an observant Jew, but despite her young age she immediately decides to put herself to the test and to pursue what are her dreams, without the fear of facing the difficulties that would inevitably arise. He tries throughout the novel to dispel the myths related to women and their limitations in society due to the lack of “that Y chromosome”.


You (don’t) get married when you are young, it is better to study first. This is what Deb’s mother wants, but at 19 she fulfills her dream of love by marrying Nathan and without giving up her university career.

You can (not) get excellent grades in education if you are young wives and mothers.
(Not) you can be a young woman, a wife, a mother and a career.
(You can’t) please the mothers-in-law.
You (can’t) change the system.

There are many other (Non) of this novel that you will live with the protagonist and you will cheer for her, I’m sure.

A fundamental role in the stories is played by the Jewish religion, and this lends itself to various food for thought, even for an atheist like me.

Women are important and driving figures in the book; besides of course Deb, the protagonist, there are her mother, her grandmother, her mother-in-law, her colleagues, the neighbor.

The relationship with his grandmother is very intense. I highlighted a passage from Deb visiting Arianne:
[…] I lean out to kiss that wrinkled cheek, furrowed by joy, by pain, by presences, by absences, by values, by traditions, by a succession of countless nights and days in which peace has made way for war, that at a price that no one would ever forget, he allowed peace to return. Furrowed by the hope of a calmer tomorrow than the distressing past, a thief of affections that would never return. […]

Stories and behaviors that sometimes made me angry and others made me smile.

The men in Deb’s life are very positive figures. An accomplice father, an available and understanding husband, aware that the wife and mother of his children, remains above all else a woman.

A book that speaks of redemption, of limits that are there to be overcome, of darkness that we can transform into light.

At least have the strength to try. this is how much I have left once the novel is closed. The will to leave negations in a corner, better in parentheses, and to continue on my way because there is NOT anything more beautiful than falling and getting up stronger than before.

[…] We are under the house and my mother is ready to pass me the baton of a relay race against the world that would no longer exist without women who become mothers. A world that wants to be able to exist without mothers who want to become someone.
“It’s like trying to create a mixture of water and oil. You can keep mixing with all your strength. Sooner or later one of the two will overpower the other.” […]


Title : (You can’t) have it all
Author : Gheula Canarutto Nemni
Publisher : Mondadori
P. 259
Isbn-13: 9788891801753