Does it ever happen that you don’t feel up to it?
To me, yes, and not just because of my meter and fifty-five …
Thanks to the library in recent years I have been taking away some satisfaction by participating in beautiful meetings, but I can never enjoy the evenings they invite me to because of my insecurity.
Are you insecure? Naaaaaa. Am I insecure? And how!
I’m trying to get used to it, but I still have a tactic to survive the evening without staring at my shoes. The secret is: look for corners.
Patrick Swayze’s good soul will forgive me, he who fought so much because: no one can put Baby in a corner. I crave corners!
I have become a world expert in angles. The rules for finding the perfect one are simple:
– never choose the corner closest to the entrance door, you would see the parade of all the guests and you would get anxious beforehand;
– never choose the corner at the bottom right because you know … at the bottom right in 99% of cases there is the most coveted room, the bathroom, and therefore you would also attend the guests’ parade here;
– never choose the corner near the buffet, you would pass for the scroccona of aperitifs;
– excluding those described above, the others are fine.
But don’t worry, it will be the right angle to call and choose you.
This happened to me a few months ago, at an event. I see it, waiting for me, it’s him, the perfect corner between a bookcase and a small table with dried fruit. I stay there all evening observing the guests, drinking red wine and eating peanuts; a glass, a peanut, a glass another peanut. Is there anything worse than being shy? Of course: a shy vegan!
I know you are right: a vegan at an aperitif buffet should have the good heart not to go. But I go and I do not disturb from my corner I swear!
Returning to the evening of the peanuts, at a certain point the wine took effect and I relaxed, I even smiled, crazy things! The evening flew by without me noticing. Time to go. I am practically on the street and I realize that I have forgotten the scarf in my corner, so I go back through the house passing against the walls, but not too much so as not to drop some very expensive paintings, but in my corner the scarf is not there. I start looking for her, move a chair, pull back the tablecloth of the table with the peanuts. A very elegant lady asks me if she needs help, and starts looking with me. When she momentarily kneels under the table, I block her and say it doesn’t matter, it’s just a scarf and I thank her.
On the contrary, I retrace the road I have just made, a taxi is waiting for me. I go up I open the bag to take the wallet and what do I see? My scarf, removed after the third glass of wine because I was hot. I smile at Elena, my friend, who spent the evening with me. Because angles are useful, but a friend with whom to pretend to talk about maximum systems and finance and the ozone hole when you feel observed is even more useful.
All this introduction to say that a few days ago I received an invitation to a private event to celebrate the release of a detective novel from a well-known publishing house and the first thing I did was ask Elena: friend, will you accompany me?
This evening will also go down in history, but not for the wine, the peanuts or the lost scarves. It will go down in history because I decided to wear heels, who then forgot them at home and presented me with amphibians, is another matter.
Elena joins me in the bookshop and …
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